Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas - Why it Doesn't Matter to Me

Good morning Friends!

This morning my thoughts turn towards a familiar holly jolly Holiday that we all (well most of us anyways) know and love...yes I’m talking about President’s Day...just kidding...Christmas of course. :)

We’re just barely into the season and already it has begun..the heated battle over “Happy Holidays” vs “Merry Christmas”.  I know at this point you’re probably either bracing yourself to defend your position, or checking outta here to avoid the whole spiel.  If you’re hovering over that x-button right now I encourage you to just stick it out with me for a few minutes - I swear it won’t take long.
In previous years I know I’ve been guilty of being involved in the heated battle with my “Merry Christmas” guns ablaze in the passive-aggressive posts of social media.  It can happen all-too-easily...we see a meme, a joke, or an article strongly defending our point and we think, “perfect...that’ll get the point across without me having to do too much work”.  However, I’d like to challenge us this year to do better.


As Christians, do we really believe that Christmas is about Jesus?  “Of course we do; why would you ask such a ridiculous question?” you’re probably saying, so let me follow up with another question.  Do we really believe that Jesus is about love? Love that compelled the King of the Universe to lay aside His Divinity and come down to earth to be born in a dirty, lowly stable for a lost, messy, broken world?  Love that came down for the individuals who have a pretty good life and for the most part have it all together?  Yes, yes, yes you’re probably thinking.  Glad you’re tracking with me...allow me to continue.  
If we as Christians truly believe that Christmas is about Christ, and Christ is about unconditional, sacrificial love; then allow me to ask: are we loving well this Season?  
The sad fact friends is that often times, in our zeal to tell the world about our Saviour at this Season that’s supposed to be a reminder of Hope stepping into our World, our message of Hope and Love get’s muddied, clouded over, and lost in our method’s that can be completely devoid of the very thing we are trying to portray.  It’s no wonder the world doesn’t want to hear our message...we have no platform to stand on when our attitudes don’t match our message.  

Note that I said not just loving, but loving “well”?  Don’t get me wrong; I love to hear Christmas carol’s about Jesus and be greeted with “Merry Christmas” in the stores just as much as the next Christian, but when my focus becomes more about the technicalities of whether a tree should be called a Christmas tree or a Holiday tree, or angered over the fact that a Jolly Fat Man is getting more attention than a Baby in a Manger, am I really loving well?  

So this season I challenge myself and I challenge you dear Christian friend to do something radical.  Instead of being quick to share those angry posts on Facebook, or to kill that poor barista with scowling reprimands about the simple red cup (you know what I mean), or of “I think you mean Merry CHRISTmas”, let’s get our point across with our actions.  This doesn’t mean that we need to tone down our message or begin replacing our “Merry Christmases” with “Happy Holidays”, but what it does mean is that when we say it, let’s mean it….let’s say it in the way that Christ said it when He came as a small, dependant, humble baby in a smelly, unclean manger in the dead of night to an unsuspecting people...no red carpet rolled out, no throngs of people waiting to catch a glimpse of Heaven’s Arrival...and just like today...no room for Him then in the busyness of everyday life….let’s say it with unconditional love, because even if the world doesn’t acknowledge Him this Season...Love never fails.

Love Crystal

Searching for the Hidden Blessings

As I'm writing this blog it's a chilly, overcast, rainy fall day but I'm as cozy as anything in my joggers and wrapped up in my daughter's fleecy blanket with my warm cup of coffee close by...you may call me crazy, but that is my idea of an absolutely perfect Friday morning.  I'm sure there are a million other things I could be doing right now, but this week has been busy enough that I'm just enjoying this moment of peace.

For all of my fellow Canadian friends, we're approaching our Thanksgiving weekend today and with that I thought it would be fitting to share a few words on thankfulness.  Earlier this week I was doing anything but giving thanks.  Let me explain.

On Tuesday I had to take a trip into the city with my two daughters in order to get fall clothes for my youngest (unfortunately they were born in opposite months so the poor little dear has nothing but summer clothes to adorn herself in in this chilly weather...not cool..well cool literally but not slang-ly speaking..and no I'm fairly certain that is not a word but I went there anyway's, you'll just have to deal with that) ;) Sooo, where was I?  Ah yes, shopping.  I'm not sure if you've ever shopped with a 4 year old girl and a 9 month old, but if you haven't let me just shatter any dreams you have of this being a wonderfully fun experience to say that it's not...try more so pulling-my-hair-out-stressful.  Add in the factors that the 9 month old is very busy and not a fan of strollers; we are not shopping for the 4 year old who looooves clothes as much as her mom, and on that note, the fact that we're not shopping for the desperately-shopping-starved, outdated attired mama, and mix in a mama who is a high C (DISC profile test) meaning she needs to see all of her options first, assess and very carefully chose the best deal before purchasing...blend that all up and you have a recipe for disaster.  I am however pleased to say that we made it out without tears.

Where things got really messy, was when we arrived home.  I had left myself enough time to unload our purchases and change a diaper before we had to go to the bus stop to pick up my son.  Well, I know you likely won't believe me, but things don't always go according to plan with children.  My older daughter, who normally only plays outside with her brother, wouldn't come in the house with me.  Being in the rush that I was in however, I decided she would be okay and I'd head in to quickly change my other daughter's diaper before heading to the bus stop.  Everything was going just dandy until I began to hear these horrific screams coming from outside, it only took me seconds to realize that it was my older daughter Quinn.  I quickly wrapped up the diaper change, scooped Lucy up and ran outside to find my neighbour on my lawn reassuring me that another neighbours' dog had startled her but that all was well and Quinn was in the backyard now.  Across the road was another neighbour holding said dog, and when I reached my back porch, yet another neighbour was reassuring my daughter. Quinn screams like crazy if a dog get's too close to her, whether it's a teacup poodle or a black lab; this dog was no different, he was just wanting to play, but the poor thing picked the wrong child to initiate with. Not wanting to be insensitive to Quinn I calmed her down, helped her with her shoes that had came off in the craziness and hurried her along as best I could to get to the bus stop in time, which I knew was cutting it very close at this point.  Long story short, I didn't get to the bus stop in time, but was glad to find out from another neighbour girl that my son stayed on the bus and the bus driver would be checking for us when she swung by our house again (it goes by our place twice fortunately after our bus stop).  Sure enough, the bus came around and my son emerged safe and sound.

Talk about an epic fail for me though; by that point I was feeling like the worst parent alive as I thought about how I'm sure the other mom's at my bus stop could hear my daughter's screams and saw me missing at the bus stop, and then the fact that not just one, but 3 of my neighbours all came to my daughter's aide before I arrived on the scene.  :(  Ugh, fail indeed.  I'll come back to that I promise, but let's move onto Wednesday and Thursday.

So on Wednesday I opened the diaper bag to find a ring with a tag on it that I did not purchase, but I recalled my daughter playing with and asking for, laying atop everything.  Noooo!!!  Now if you live in the city, this isn't a big deal, but for me it's a 45 minute drive, which means it's a huge inconvenience.  At first I thought, I'll just take it back on a day that I've only got Lucy with me, but then the responsible side of me kicked in and I knew I had to do another day trip with both girls so that a lesson could be learned here.  So yesterday, back we went with two daughters and ring in tow to say our apologies and make things right.

Now I say all of this to say that there were many points throughout this week where unfortunately I was anything but thankful, and was even downright miserable.  I didn't feel like there was much to be grateful for, and I didn't want to think about it even...I was feeling like..."don't try to make me feel better..just let me wallow in this".  Yes, sad and quite pathetic, I know. But here's the ray of light in all of this: things could have been much worse and I could have missed a lot if I kept my head in the sand.  I realized that I could have beat myself up over my shortcomings on Tuesday, or I could be grateful that I have many amazing neighbours who care about my children, and other amazing neighbours whom I've yet to meet but who send lovely apology notes for their stray dog when they could have blamed me for not being outside.  I realized that I could have considered the two trips to the city as wasted, stressful days, which would have made my daughter feel like a failure, or I could choose to see it as a wonderful learning opportunity to teach my daughter about the importance of integrity and honesty, and that a mistake doesn't make you a failure.

Although this week had it's up's and down's and several inconveniences along the way, I am thankful for the things that I learned as without these experiences I wouldn't have had the opportunities to find the blessings that can sometimes be hidden or taken for granted.  I challenge you today, regardless of what you find yourself facing; to look for the hidden treasure in your circumstance.

 It won't be shouting as loud and proud as the call to complain or accept defeat, and it may only be one good thing in a long list of bad, but I promise, it will be there, quietly beckoning you to see the light and to shift your focus to gratitude.  Don't miss the opportunity in your mess, don't waste the pain without finding the treasure buried deep, and don't miss your blessing by focusing on your circumstance.  Just like this rainy day, there is blessing in everything.

In this with you,

Crystal

In the Face of Fear

This past week, the topics of fear, courage, and love have been swirling around in my mind, and all of this prior to the recent Oregon School Shooting.

I've read Facebook statuses of friends and acquaintances shaken by daily headlines of ISIS, Planned Parenthood, and Shooting rampages that have become all too common; and I've felt the fear myself of raising my children in a world filled with so much pain.  Amongst all of this I've come to notice a familiar reaction, which is this...to turn our eyes away, cover our ears, and bury our head in the sand...a conscience choice to "live in a bubble" so-to-speak.

I can totally understand why we choose to react this way because I think I'm guilty of it in my own way too.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to hit the "x" button on any link to negative news, in fact, sadly, I think I'm quicker to get all of the facts that I can; however, the bubble I live in is still very much present and accounted for.  This "bubble" I'm referring to exists in my heart; it's in the way that I tiptoe around controversial topics by pausing over that "like" or "share" button instead of clicking it because I'm more afraid of what other's might think of me than of being real and true to my own convictions; it's in the way that I backspace those Tweets or Blogg's that weigh heavy on my heart because I may receive angry judgement or be misunderstood; it's in the way that I don't speak those caring words of concern and sometimes hard questions to those closest to me because it's easier to just appease them; and it's in the way that I don't pursue my passions because I don't want to risk failing.

Although not anywhere near comparable to the fear of losing one's life, these things are all still bubbles, and they all amount to nothing more than living a life filled with fear.  You see, this fear on a large scale still affects us.  Oh we may think that we're immune to it's crippling affects, but every time we find ourselves living in one of these bubbles we are in fact, allowing that fear to seep into our hearts.

So what do we do in the face of all of this fear?  I believe, no, rather, I know with all of my heart, that the answer lies in this, "love".  Love, real love, doesn't fear; real love lays it all on the line courageously because it does not depend on the other person's response or their reciprocation; it gives without any expectation of anything in return.  That kind of love enables us to be brave, to be true to our convictions, to embrace our dreams.  It's love that causes us to come running out from retreat to face the injustices surrounding us, to stop the cycles of hurt by forgiving the unforgivable, and to not be silenced by the screaming voices of control and hate that masquerade as bold and courageous but are at their core filled with the very fear they promote.  Courage does not come in the loud, controlling, dominating voice; courage comes in the still, strong confidence of love.

The voice of fear may be loud; but it can not, and will not ever, overpower love.  Love is stronger every time, love never fails.  So today, in honour of the lives that have been lost at Umpqua Community College, let's step out of our bubbles and allow love to be our stepping stone to courageously face whatever obstacle of fear we are facing today.  It may seem like a very insignificant act in the big picture, but it is these very insignificant acts, when in great numbers, which make very significant impacts in our lives and in the lives of those around us.  

Keep moving forward friends, 

Love Crystal

For all you mom's of JK's

It's been forever since I was last on here and life has gotten much busier with an almost 9 month old in the mix but as summer has come to a close things have begun to get back to normal with my son now back to school in the first grade and my daughter to follow tomorrow. Yes, you heard correctly, my sweet little girl of just barely 4 years is beginning Jr Kindergarten tomorrow.  She's been there often enough in the past two years; to drop off her brother with me, or meet his teacher, see a Christmas concert, hear about bus safety, and just today to meet her teachers, however it didn't really sink in that she'd be going herself until tonight. You see, tonight as I went in to give her a kiss after she was asleep, she had her little arm wrapped in a cozy hug around her white, falling-apart sheep pillow... The sheep pillow that had wrapped around her most favorite baby blanket and that she had slept with every night (except when it was in the laundry) until she was three, at which time she had moved into her big girl bed and the sheep pillow and blanket went into hibernation. Not seeing that pillow for over a year made me realize how much a child can grow in a year and how quickly life can pass by and change in that time. It seems like just a heartbeat away that I was laying with her in my hospital bed for our first night together, literally nose-to-nose and lip-to-lip; the first snuggle of many with my affectionate little girl. And now tomorrow she'll be going off to school with her big brother.

I'm trying to convince myself that it's not a huge deal and that she'll do great, but I think that's part of what makes it so difficult for us mom's. We know that our children are resilient, we know that given the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion, we know that these amazing little people will make friends and win hearts, and I think that's what can scare us, or at least me.

Yes, there is the part of me that worries about her getting hurt or feeling alone, but there is a bigger fear than even those; it is the fear that my children won't need me, that the voices of friends, teachers, and even scarier, media and society will begin to become more appealing and louder than mine. It's the fear that snuggling with mom will be old news, and hanging with family a chore, ultimately, it's the fear that says "your job here is done"; and I'm not anywhere near ready to hand my job off to a big scary, ugly world.

So what do we do as mom's, as dad's, as caregivers to these precious children with whom we've been entrusted for such a short time? What do we do to battle these fears? How do we cope with the overwhelming desire to white-knuckle parent our children?

For me, I'll do the only thing I know to do, sometimes only daily, sometimes hourly, but today and tomorrow, by the minute... I'll hand these children off... Not to the hands of a hard, calloused world, but into the hands of my loving Heavenly Father, Who wants the best for them and Who loves them even more than my own love for them.  I'll choose to trust Him, sometimes trembling, and when I feel weak, to call out until His hands grasp mine.  You see, if I don't do this, the only other option is for my fears to control my actions; and instead of being free to guide, nurture, and teach my children allowing them to choose and make both good and bad choices, my hands become closed and clenched around them and the very things I fear will become my reality.

So tonight I take a lesson from my four year old daughter, the one who conquered her lifelong fear of swimming this summer, who finally let go of the steps and swam into the deep and who will bravely walk into her JK classroom tomorrow...I let go... I let go of the fear and the control, and I grab onto perfect love, the perfect love of my Savior.

"You make me brave... You call me out beyond the shores into the waves..." 

(You Make me Brave, by Amanda Cook, Bethel Music)

~ Crystal