Friday, October 9, 2015

Searching for the Hidden Blessings

As I'm writing this blog it's a chilly, overcast, rainy fall day but I'm as cozy as anything in my joggers and wrapped up in my daughter's fleecy blanket with my warm cup of coffee close by...you may call me crazy, but that is my idea of an absolutely perfect Friday morning.  I'm sure there are a million other things I could be doing right now, but this week has been busy enough that I'm just enjoying this moment of peace.

For all of my fellow Canadian friends, we're approaching our Thanksgiving weekend today and with that I thought it would be fitting to share a few words on thankfulness.  Earlier this week I was doing anything but giving thanks.  Let me explain.

On Tuesday I had to take a trip into the city with my two daughters in order to get fall clothes for my youngest (unfortunately they were born in opposite months so the poor little dear has nothing but summer clothes to adorn herself in in this chilly weather...not cool..well cool literally but not slang-ly speaking..and no I'm fairly certain that is not a word but I went there anyway's, you'll just have to deal with that) ;) Sooo, where was I?  Ah yes, shopping.  I'm not sure if you've ever shopped with a 4 year old girl and a 9 month old, but if you haven't let me just shatter any dreams you have of this being a wonderfully fun experience to say that it's not...try more so pulling-my-hair-out-stressful.  Add in the factors that the 9 month old is very busy and not a fan of strollers; we are not shopping for the 4 year old who looooves clothes as much as her mom, and on that note, the fact that we're not shopping for the desperately-shopping-starved, outdated attired mama, and mix in a mama who is a high C (DISC profile test) meaning she needs to see all of her options first, assess and very carefully chose the best deal before purchasing...blend that all up and you have a recipe for disaster.  I am however pleased to say that we made it out without tears.

Where things got really messy, was when we arrived home.  I had left myself enough time to unload our purchases and change a diaper before we had to go to the bus stop to pick up my son.  Well, I know you likely won't believe me, but things don't always go according to plan with children.  My older daughter, who normally only plays outside with her brother, wouldn't come in the house with me.  Being in the rush that I was in however, I decided she would be okay and I'd head in to quickly change my other daughter's diaper before heading to the bus stop.  Everything was going just dandy until I began to hear these horrific screams coming from outside, it only took me seconds to realize that it was my older daughter Quinn.  I quickly wrapped up the diaper change, scooped Lucy up and ran outside to find my neighbour on my lawn reassuring me that another neighbours' dog had startled her but that all was well and Quinn was in the backyard now.  Across the road was another neighbour holding said dog, and when I reached my back porch, yet another neighbour was reassuring my daughter. Quinn screams like crazy if a dog get's too close to her, whether it's a teacup poodle or a black lab; this dog was no different, he was just wanting to play, but the poor thing picked the wrong child to initiate with. Not wanting to be insensitive to Quinn I calmed her down, helped her with her shoes that had came off in the craziness and hurried her along as best I could to get to the bus stop in time, which I knew was cutting it very close at this point.  Long story short, I didn't get to the bus stop in time, but was glad to find out from another neighbour girl that my son stayed on the bus and the bus driver would be checking for us when she swung by our house again (it goes by our place twice fortunately after our bus stop).  Sure enough, the bus came around and my son emerged safe and sound.

Talk about an epic fail for me though; by that point I was feeling like the worst parent alive as I thought about how I'm sure the other mom's at my bus stop could hear my daughter's screams and saw me missing at the bus stop, and then the fact that not just one, but 3 of my neighbours all came to my daughter's aide before I arrived on the scene.  :(  Ugh, fail indeed.  I'll come back to that I promise, but let's move onto Wednesday and Thursday.

So on Wednesday I opened the diaper bag to find a ring with a tag on it that I did not purchase, but I recalled my daughter playing with and asking for, laying atop everything.  Noooo!!!  Now if you live in the city, this isn't a big deal, but for me it's a 45 minute drive, which means it's a huge inconvenience.  At first I thought, I'll just take it back on a day that I've only got Lucy with me, but then the responsible side of me kicked in and I knew I had to do another day trip with both girls so that a lesson could be learned here.  So yesterday, back we went with two daughters and ring in tow to say our apologies and make things right.

Now I say all of this to say that there were many points throughout this week where unfortunately I was anything but thankful, and was even downright miserable.  I didn't feel like there was much to be grateful for, and I didn't want to think about it even...I was feeling like..."don't try to make me feel better..just let me wallow in this".  Yes, sad and quite pathetic, I know. But here's the ray of light in all of this: things could have been much worse and I could have missed a lot if I kept my head in the sand.  I realized that I could have beat myself up over my shortcomings on Tuesday, or I could be grateful that I have many amazing neighbours who care about my children, and other amazing neighbours whom I've yet to meet but who send lovely apology notes for their stray dog when they could have blamed me for not being outside.  I realized that I could have considered the two trips to the city as wasted, stressful days, which would have made my daughter feel like a failure, or I could choose to see it as a wonderful learning opportunity to teach my daughter about the importance of integrity and honesty, and that a mistake doesn't make you a failure.

Although this week had it's up's and down's and several inconveniences along the way, I am thankful for the things that I learned as without these experiences I wouldn't have had the opportunities to find the blessings that can sometimes be hidden or taken for granted.  I challenge you today, regardless of what you find yourself facing; to look for the hidden treasure in your circumstance.
 It won't be shouting as loud and proud as the call to complain or accept defeat, and it may only be one good thing in a long list of bad, but I promise, it will be there, quietly beckoning you to see the light and to shift your focus to gratitude.  Don't miss the opportunity in your mess, don't waste the pain without finding the treasure buried deep, and don't miss your blessing by focusing on your circumstance.  Just like this rainy day, there is blessing in everything.

In this with you,

Crystal

Saturday, October 3, 2015

In the Face of Fear

This past week, the topics of fear, courage, and love have been swirling around in my mind, and all of this prior to the recent Oregon School Shooting.

I've read Facebook statuses of friends and acquaintances shaken by daily headlines of ISIS, Planned Parenthood, and Shooting rampages that have become all too common; and I've felt the fear myself of raising my children in a world filled with so much pain.  Amongst all of this I've come to notice a familiar reaction, which is this...to turn our eyes away, cover our ears, and bury our head in the sand...a conscience choice to "live in a bubble" so-to-speak.

I can totally understand why we choose to react this way because I think I'm guilty of it in my own way too.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to hit the "x" button on any link to negative news, in fact, sadly, I think I'm quicker to get all of the facts that I can; however, the bubble I live in is still very much present and accounted for.  This "bubble" I'm referring to exists in my heart; it's in the way that I tiptoe around controversial topics by pausing over that "like" or "share" button instead of clicking it because I'm more afraid of what other's might think of me than of being real and true to my own convictions; it's in the way that I backspace those Tweets or Blogg's that weigh heavy on my heart because I may receive angry judgement or be misunderstood; it's in the way that I don't speak those caring words of concern and sometimes hard questions to those closest to me because it's easier to just appease them; and it's in the way that I don't pursue my passions because I don't want to risk failing.

Although not anywhere near comparable to the fear of losing one's life, these things are all still bubbles, and they all amount to nothing more than living a life filled with fear.  You see, this fear on a large scale still affects us.  Oh we may think that we're immune to it's crippling affects, but every time we find ourselves living in one of these bubbles we are in fact, allowing that fear to seep into our hearts.


So what do we do in the face of all of this fear?  I believe, no, rather, I know with all of my heart, that the answer lies in this, "love".  Love, real love, doesn't fear; real love lays it all on the line courageously because it does not depend on the other person's response or their reciprocation; it gives without any expectation of anything in return.  That kind of love enables us to be brave, to be true to our convictions, to embrace our dreams.  It's love that causes us to come running out from retreat to face the injustices surrounding us, to stop the cycles of hurt by forgiving the unforgivable, and to not be silenced by the screaming voices of control and hate that masquerade as bold and courageous but are at their core filled with the very fear they promote.  Courage does not come in the loud, controlling, dominating voice; courage comes in the still, strong confidence of love.

The voice of fear may be loud; but it can not, and will not ever, overpower love.  Love is stronger every time, love never fails.  So today, in honour of the lives that have been lost at Umpqua Community College, let's step out of our bubbles and allow love to be our stepping stone to courageously face whatever obstacle of fear we are facing today.  It may seem like a very insignificant act in the big picture, but it is these very insignificant acts, when in great numbers, which make very significant impacts in our lives and in the lives of those around us.  

Keep moving forward friends, 

Love Crystal